


The Five-and-One Club

by Kereea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cursed Captain Hook | Killian Jones, F/M, Fluff, Mystery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2777900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is says, a ton of 5&1 fics for a universe where Hook was caught in the curse and somehow exited Storybrooke four years before Henry found Emma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 5 Things Emma Wondered About Ian (and 1 She Didn’t)

 

1: Emma always wonders where her boyfriend came from. To be fair, so does he. Between jobs they often go over his file from four years ago, where a John Doe, later ID’d as Ian Kirk from a library card—albeit a card form a town that didn’t seem to exist—was found unconscious in a forest.

Unconscious with amnesia. Because of course.

She honestly hadn’t believed him when they’d met at a bar two and a half years ago. He’d told her to look it up and she had right then and there on her phone and…

Well. She’d owed him dinner by the end of it.

“What are you thinking about, love?”

Also where that accent that crops up now and then comes from, she mentally adds as Ian settles beside her on the couch. “You. Just wondering if there’s some clue we missed.”

“Well, forgive me for being the pessimist, but if I haven’t found it yet I don’t think we will,” Ian sighs, looping his arm around her.

She smiles when he does it. It didn’t take him too long to figure out she had issues about people leaving her—he likes to claim she’s an open book to him—and these days he’s all about keeping them as close as possible. She reaches over and pulls on his hook so his other arm is around the front of them. “Just thinking anyway.”

He pulls her closer, “Sweet of you, Emma, but it’s going nowhere. I’m afraid it’s going to stay a blank page.”

 

2: Sometimes Emma really can’t help but wonder how Ian got his hook. She knows why he’s not willing to get a different prosthetic, because he hopes someone from the time he doesn’t remember might recognize him better with the hook, but she and he and a few other people—mostly the ones who first found him—who’ve seen what’s under the brace know it looks like an _oddly_ clean cut.

They’ve wondered through all the ludicrous possibilities more than once. Lunatic ex. Serial killer parent. Attempted murder. Body part snatcher.

It’s only because the mundane ideas—factory accident, car accident, woodcutting accident—don’t seem to fit for one reason or other. And not just obvious reasons besides no one in their right mind being able to picture Ian working in a factory.

There’s also the brace. The doctor Ian saw at his last checkup had commented on how it was a very, _very_ old style. Ian’s old police report notes that their EMT had said the callouses on his arm make it clear that he’s probably worn it for years.

Ian seems to prove that right as he appears to have no trouble handling things one-handed and even admits that it’s been like that since he woke up.

Emma squawks as he loops the hook through her belt to tug her into his lap. “Careful! You’ll rip my jeans!”

“Oh, that would be a tragedy!” he jokes. “You know me, plenty of practice, Swan. Your pants will survive.”

“Plenty of practice dragging girls into your lap with your hook?” she asks dryly just to see if he realizes how what he said sounds.

“Err…maybe? You know I don’t know that. Hey, think I had this thing in high school? I can see girls just _loving_ it.”

“I can also see it banned from high school for easily being a potential weapon.” It’s very sharp and very sturdy. She bets it’s titanium or something.

Ian rolls his eyes, “Spoilsport, Swann.”

She settles against him. It doesn’t really matter where it came from in the end, so long as he doesn’t rip another car seat with it she’s fine.

 

3: Some nights, Emma wonders when Ian will leave.

By then he’s stayed more than twice as long as Neal, and even after she’d admitted to her pregnancy by Neal, even after a really bad fight where he didn’t set foot in the bedroom for nearly a week after and they _still_ made up…she still has trouble thinking he’ll stay.

“All right there, love?”

“I’m fine,” she lies, shrugging. Just because she’s feeling insecure is no reason to bother him.

He seems bothered anyway as he lays out beside her on the bed. Jittery. That’s unusual for him.

“You all right?” she asks back.

He looked at his feet before taking off his hook and tossing it over onto the dresser, “I…just…it’s _depressing_ , all right?”

“How so?” Maybe it will distract her from her own depression.

“I was channel surfing. And there was this movie…and people were dancing…” he fiddles with his brace and she reaches over to help because he always has trouble with it when he’s agitated.

“And that upset you?”

“Well, you know me, love, romantic at heart,” Ian said. “So I started thinking about dancing that way with you but…anyway part of the dance reminded me…I just…”

“What is it?” she asks as they finally get the brace off and it’s tossed onto the dresser as well, skidding off and landing in the laundry basket. They’ll find it in the morning.

“I can never hold you properly,” he mutters, glaring at his own blunted arm as if it’s at fault for every wrong ever done. “And I…I…”

She kisses him, “You can hold me fine, Ian. You’re fine the way you are.” And far too looking for his own good, not that he seems to notice it much about himself.

“I’d rather be whole for you, love,” he says.

“What, and not let me brag about my boyfriend with the hook-hand?” she asks teasingly.

It works and he laughs, pulling her close. They stay like that until he falls asleep.

She’s still terrified he might leave. Because it would probably break her worse than Neal by this point.

 

4: She wonders if he’ll say yes.

She wonders if this was a good idea…or if it seems too silly or too mocking or…god she never should have done this.

“Find it yet?” Ian asks.

“Not yet. You need to stop just chucking it at the dresser, surprised this hasn’t happened before now,” Emma says, her fingers already holding what he’s been looking for. She’s had it hidden since last night. “Wait, found it.”

“Finally,” Ian sighs and Emma takes his brace to put the hook in, silently praying this doesn’t ruin everything.

“That’s better,” Ian laughs. “I might be able to do a lot of things one handed, but the hook does actually help for…some…”

His eyes lock onto where the hook meets the base. Right that the bottom, held on by rubber lining on the inside, is a gold ring with the tag “Marry Me?” handing off it.

“Emma?”

“I…you know, do you…even if it’s just for tax benefits, I mean we’ve been cohabitating for almost two and a half years, is it?”

He kisses her forehead before resting his against it, “I’d love to marry you, Emma Swan. And not just for tax benefits. Though I hope I get to pick out as suitable a ring for you as you did for me. I promise, nothing insanely frilly or impractical?”

“I can live with that,” Emma says. “…I love you.”

“Love you too, love,” Ian says.

 

5: Emma really can’t help but wonder how Ian will react when she nods at the kid, Henry, and says, “He says he’s my son.”

Ian’s eyes widen slightly. He glances between Emma and Henry before settling on Henry, “And what exactly is he doing here, hm?”

She’s almost glad he’s addressing the kid instead of her. Henry explains all he told her and Ian, who’s apparently good with kids or at least preteen boys, manages to sound perfectly encouraging as she texts her coworkers to let them know she and Ian need a few days, something’s come up.

She’s going to take the kid home. Because, really, this scares the hell out of her. She doesn’t even remember him! And…and Ian…

Well, Ian actually seems to be doing fine, which is nice. She hopes it’s sincere and not just a front for the kid.

Ian lends the kid one of his larger hoodies to use as a pillow and Emma gets a blanket out of the closet. As soon as Henry’s asleep on the couch Ian pulls her into the bedroom and kisses her firmly.

“I am not running away from you because of this, I am still in love with you, and yes I am going with you to take the kid back,” he said quickly. “Are we good?”

“We’re good,” she agrees, setting the alarm before they fall into bed. She smiles when he still won’t let go of her.

 

 

&1: Emma’s gladly secure in the knowledge that Ian will be staying too.

Something about this town really doesn’t feel right and she wants to, has to, get to the bottom of it.

“Did you finish securing lodgings?” he asks as she renters their new room at the inn.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. Ruby, the waitress? She helped me out with it. We’re set here for a bit,” Emma said.

“Good. You know, I’m not in the mind to call many people evil, per say, but maybe your boy’s onto something with that Regina woman. That was just strange.”

“It was. Especially since we were about to leave anyway,” Emma agrees. “What do you think we should do?”

“Look into it, I suppose,” Ian says, kissing her before going to remove his brace. “You know, I had the strangest feeling when we arrived here. It almost felt familiar.”

“That’s new,” she says.

“We’ll figure it out. Together,” he murmurs in her ear as they slide into bed. “I’m not abandoning you that easily, Swan.”

“I know,” she says, and reaches for the light switch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did Hook cross the town line?  
> What will happen when he gets his memories back?  
> Why is he named Ian Kirk? Okay, wait, I know that one. It's for a pun later and I like Captain Kirk.


	2. 5 Times Ian Kirk Worried About Ending the Curse (and 1 He Accepted It)

1: Ian tries to be a little more encouraging to Henry because, well, Emma hates all this supposed fairytale stuff and he’ll feel bad for the kid if he doesn’t soften the blows now and then when his mother stays stubbornly skeptical.

Not that Ian is sure if he believes in this stuff or not, but it’s piling up and getting rather hard to ignore.

So when Henry’s having another round of explaining who he thinks everyone is—Emma’s already gone up to their room, but Henry’s adoptive mom’s not here for him yet so the kid needs watching—Ian asks, “Well, who am I, then? Tell me that and maybe then we’ll convince Emma.”

Henry looks at him like he’s stupid, “Can you really not figure it out?”

“Cheeky,” Ian says. He knows Henry tries to stay on his good side because he’s part of why Emma hasn’t left yet. Henry being that blunt must mean something.

“Captain Hook, duh,” Henry said.

All right, he can see why that’s supposedly obvious, but, “Hook’s not the nicest guy. Are you trying to call me evil to scare me off your birth mom?”

Because, really, is he supposed to think of himself as an evil pirate? That seems quite unfair.

“No. Maybe…maybe he’s not as evil as people think?” Henry offers weakly. “I’m not saying you’re evil.”

Says the boy who called the woman who’s raised him for ten years evil not that long ago. Ian shakes his head but lets it go.

 

2: People here seem to somehow know him. It’s awkward, because he doesn’t recall any of them at all.

Even Henry admits to knowing him, remembering running into him near the library once. While he’s a bit cross that hadn’t come up sooner, the boy _did_ seem to honestly have only just recalled it.

It only compounds the wrongness of the town. He’s been gone at least four years, but most people don’t seem to know how long it was. One man from the docks, Leroy, admits it’s only felt like a few weeks. If that.

He’s starting to totally believe Henry, at least about the time-thing. Something is _wrong_ with it.

And wouldn’t that be odd, being over twenty years older than he physically is? How strange. He really needs to not think on these things so hard.

The sheriff annoys him the most. Ian doesn’t like the man’s excuse of him having supposedly been a delinquent at one point—even without the whole stopped time idea Ian’s sure it was a long, long time ago, and sure he doesn’t remember it but he’s sure...sort of.

He doesn’t like the idea even with the time-shenanigans. Good thing Emma’s got “thief” in her history, otherwise he’d be worried she’d think less of him.

But even with how he doesn’t like the sheriff, there are time the man seems…controlled. And not any way that seems natural.

Ian doesn’t want it to be so. Because if it is, then Henry is right about it, and might also be right about more. He doesn’t want Henry to be right about more.

He doesn’t want to be a villain.

 

3: He didn’t know why, but hate flared in his chest the first time he came face to face with Mr. Gold. He’d excused himself, claiming his lunch wasn’t agreeing with him and he needed to run to the drugstore.

He still doesn’t know why it happened, but now Gold seems to watch him. After too many times of that odd stare, he can’t take it, “Did we have any run-ins with each other or something?”

“I beg your pardon?” the broker asks.

“I apparently used to live here and you always give me the oddest looks,” Ian says.

“Oh, no dearie. No trouble with Ian Kirk. You lobbed a rock at my windows once but, well, they’re tougher than they look,” Gold says.

“Well, sorry about the rock anyway,” he says before realizing exactly what the man just said. “What do you mean…no trouble with Ian Kirk? That’s not the same as no trouble with me to you, is it?”

“As long as you’re Ian Kirk, it is,” Gold said simply.

“You believe in this…curse thing too?” Ian asks.

“You don’t?” Gold asks back.

Ian purses his lips. It’s hard to say.

“People are remembering of fragments of things. But you don’t. So maybe you aren’t who we think you are. And wouldn’t that be such a wonderful thing,” Gold says. “Because I’ve been recalling things about a Captain Hook and I must say…would be a shame for a lad so nice as you to turn out like that.”

“Turn out like what?” It’s past his lips before he can help it.

Gold smirks and for some reason he word “crocodile” rises, unbidden, in Ian’s mind. “Well, dear boy, I…rather think ‘pirate’ is a description all to itself, don’t you? A thief, a killer…a betrayer?”

Ian runs.

 

4: Ian dreams of the sea, sometimes.

At first it doesn’t seem so odd. He’s always liked the ocean and part of his and Emma’s master plan had involved going to Florida one day.

It’s when the ship enters the dreams, not long after coming to Storybrooke, that he begins to worry.

He wakes up in the middle of the night and stares at the ceiling more than a dozen times.

He doesn’t like how he feels in those dreams. He feels driven but not encouraged. Angry, though, he feels plenty angry.

Never happy.

He sighs a touch too loudly and Emma stirs, “Ian?”

Is that even really his name? “Yes, love?”

“You okay?”

“I…I’ve been dreaming.”

“People do that,” Emma mumbles, rolling over and resting her head on his shoulder. “Dream.”

“Emma, what if Henry’s right?” What if he _is_ Captain Hook?

“Ian, this is not a conversation to have at…” she leans up and checks the clock, “one forty-six in the morning.”

“Well, this is when I’m thinking about it,” he replies.

He feels her lips purse, they’re so close to his neck. “You mean about you?”

“A-a…Yes.” A shudder runs down his back when he realizes he almost answered “aye.” What’s _wrong_ with him?

“I think you’re latching onto it because your subconscious thinks it’s better than no memories,” Emma yawns. “But…look, if Henry’s right about you being Hook then the story must be wrong or something. Like, I don’t know, Pan threatened the writer. You’re not a bad guy. You definitely couldn’t pull off being an evil jerkbag like the one in the the movies.”

“Thanks, Emma.”

“Uh…huh…” she mumbles, kissing his neck. “Can we please go back to bed now?”

“As you wish, Swan,” Ian says, kissing her hair in return.

 

5: The files in Graham’s desk tell them all they need to know. One day Ian got too close to _something_ and he was dumped by Graham over the town line. The mayor had said that would take care of things, either kill him or toss him into the rest of the world with no memories, whichever came first.

It’s a weird reason for forgetting, but an interesting one all the same…and it gives Ian an idea.

“I know what I want you to do if Hook’s as bad as some say. Should there really be a curse that’s lifted.”

“What?” Emma asks, looking a bit exasperated at him for bringing this up _now_.

“I want you to push him over the town line. Hell, knock him out and toss him in your trunk,” Ian says. “If…if you need to, for any reason, I mean.”

“Then you’ll forget everything again!” Emma protests.

“No, I’ll just forget Storybrooke, I’m sure of it,” he says. “I’ll remember everything else, I _will_. And if you have to bring Henry I’m sure you’ll have an explanation for me as to why we never reached the town.”

“…All right,” Emma says. “But only as an absolute last resort.”

She reaches out and gently tugs him forward by the hook. “The captain can’t be that bad, though. If you’re part of him.”

He wishes that was enough to make him stop worrying about this. But it really isn’t.

 

 

&1: He leans back in his chair. They’re finally leaving, but he doesn’t know what to do.

Henry’s in a coma, Emma’s distraught, things are a mess, they’re looking for magic, damn it, _magic_ and-

And…something’s off.

He pushes himself to his feet, goes to maybe open the window because it feels hot, too hot…

There’s a ship. A beautiful ship. And a woman, not his Emma but…

Milah.

Wait, who the hell is Milah?

Why does he know where Neverland is?

Oh gods. The did break the curse.

Part of him is scared but the rest…the rest started coming to terms with this as soon as Henry said the words “Captain Hook.”

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he says quietly. Because when he sees her again…will he still love her? He wants to, he really wants to…

But what he wants won’t change anything.

Ian Kirk sits down. He won’t be Ian when he stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd just get this part posted since it was already written too!  
> Next time: 5 Times Captain Hook Wished He Could Be Ian Again (and 1 He Didn't)


	3. 5 Times Captain Hook Wished He Could Be Ian Again

1: As soon as he comes back to himself he slumps against the chair. Everything’s a mess in his head, there’s Ian’s four years to his hundreds and that should overwhelm it, mathematically speaking, but it doesn’t because he knows he’s waiting for someone and frankly sitting down while he sorts this out is _fine_ by him.

The crocodile’s out there, that much he knows. And just maybe he can fool him again, get his defenses down…perhaps pretend he doesn’t want his vengeance right now?

“Ian?”

Part of him really doesn’t understand his heart jumping like that for a woman who’s not Milah. The rest kindly tells that part to go fuck itself because it would much rather reassure Emma Swan. “Not quite, but close.”

“Hook?” she asks looking wary.

Part of him wants to blurt out his actual name, the rest won’t let him because Killian sounds too much like “kill Ian” for the moment and _damn_ did that curse have a bad sense of humor. He just nods.

“I…everyone else seems to remember. And then I realized you were still up here on your own,” she said.

“It’s a good thing I was sitting down,” he tells her, vaguely glad he can at least be honest about that. “Several hundred years cracking you over the head when you only had four before…it’s interesting.”

“So you don’t remember Storybrooke?” she asked.

“Not before I came here with you, love.” He wonders if that was a bad idea as soon as he says it. Not the information, but calling her _love_. Ian did it, but as he knows now he’s not Ian, can’t be Ian anymore because of what he knows and remembers. Ian didn’t have a crocodile to skin or a dead brother or a dead lover or… _gods_ this was depressing. At least she didn’t seem upset by the endearment.

Maybe he should just go with Ian’s plan and jump over the town line…no. The crocodile first. He has to keep Emma safe from him, at the very least. He can fix himself later.

 

2: It’s late when it occurs to the both of them that they only have one bed. Part of him sees no trouble in it. Part wants to ravish her, beauty that she is. Thankfully the gentleman wins out and he manages to offer to take the floor without sounding too awkward.

“Well, if you think you have to,” Emma said. “I don’t mind.”

Unsure of how to reply he goes with hugging her with his good arm. Seems a simple enough way to explain that he does still desire her even if his head’s more messed up than Smee’s after a whole barrel of rum.

Huh. Smee. Ian saw him around town…might as well let him know his boss is back…

He jerks away when he feels a slight tug on his left arm and realizes she’s wrapped her fingers around the hook. “Don’t.”

“What? Why?” Emma asks.

“This…I know how I got this now,” he says. “Fucking crocodile took it off.”

“There was really a crocodile?” Emma asks incredulously.

“No. A man as vicious as one. Killed my love and let her die in my arms, then took my hand as a fucking trophy!” he spits before he realizes what he’s just said.

Emma looks at him, wide-eyed. “Your love?”

He feels a stab of regret. That is _not_ the way to bring that up, even if it would have needed to come up eventually. Ian had been the person Emma could trust with her heart, and here he is just taking a mace to it. She’s never looked at Ian like that, he knows. “It…it was a long time ago. A very long time.”

He doesn’t want to go into it because the longer he can go without telling her he wants to kill the Dark One, the better. The less she’ll worry. He’s not sure of his heart right now, but he doesn’t want her to worry.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “Is that the name on your wrist?”

“Aye. But nothing for you to be sorry for, love,” he replies, pulling her close and burying his nose in her hair.

“You keep calling me that,” she says quietly before gently pushing him away. “Do you still mean it?”

“Yes.” It’s instantaneous, which somewhat confuses him because some of him doesn’t know…and the rest doesn’t care and wants it to be true. “I’m just…adjusting, I’m sure. I…I don’t want to lose you, Emma.”

Just the thought of it makes his heart seize a bit. He definitely does _not_ want to lose her.

She smiles sadly, “I could say the same but…I guess I sort of did, huh?”

“Aye,” he agrees. “But I’d like to make sure you don’t again.”

 

3: Apparently there’s a mad witch about who’s not Regina. Because of course there is.

Killian’s not too sure of what’s going on himself, as he’d spent most of the time Emma and her mother were missing—turned out they were in the Enchanted Forest but no one had figured that out at first—alternating between worrying about his Swan and plotting against the crocodile and making Smee shape up before more worrying.

But now he can’t focus on the crocodile because he and Smee have just rediscovered where the Jolly Roger is.

In Blackbeard’s hands. And if he hadn’t hated the bastard enough already, the other pirate had apparently accosted his Emma a few times in the Forest.

He can stand to put gutting the Dark One on hold for now. His ship is more important, as is Emma.

He has to tell himself that sometimes, and he _hates_ that he does. Sure, the thing with this Cora witch is nicely distracting everyone and he could probably get at the crocodile when his guard’s down but-

No. Emma. The Jolly Roger. Emma.

He hates that when he tracks Blackbeard to near the town line and gets the Dark One’s girlfriend away from him that he mentally justifies it as keeping her around for when he gets his revenge because she might be useful. Ian wouldn’t have had such thoughts, he’s sure.

Ian would, however, have had the same reaction as he does when Emma hits Blackbeard with her car. He bursts out laughing, and still is even when the Dark One shows up for his woman. It’s just that hilarious.

The gunfire is less so, especially when he staggers back and trips clean over the line-

Well…that was anticlimactic. No memory snags or anything, beyond the ones he was sure were normal for your head hitting a road. Maybe that stuff they thought about the town line was rubbish? Or it had only worked for a bit?

“Is he all right?”

“Belle, stay away from the line!”

He sits up to see the Dark One holding Belle back and Emma looking worried, “Don’t worry, doesn’t seem to work anymore anyway. Just cracked my head.”

The Crocodile sneers at him, “Of course it’s still there, I can sense it and see it. Why else would I not be _out_ _there_ looking for my son?”

Hook can think of a lot of reasons. He personally prefers to think Baelfire’s living a happy life without all the insanity the rest of them are going through, though, and the thought of his father finding him is not an appealing one. “Oh, I can think of a _few_ reasons, _mate_.”

“Hook!” Emma scolds and he shrugs at her. She storms over—great, she’s angry, sure it’s attractive but it can’t be good—and slugs him in the chest before collapsing in his lap.

He really feels like he’s missing something here. And it wouldn’t help him if it’s something Ian would get, since Ian is no longer an option.

 

4: Hook stirs on the floor at a noise. Reaching up for the nightstand to put his hook back in his brace he slowly realizes it’s not the squeak of floorboards but distressed squeaky breaths. “Swan?”

He sits up. She’s tossing on the bed and he doesn’t know what to do…as in Hook wouldn’t have known what to do if not for Ian’s memories still in his head.

He kneels on the mattress and shakes her. “Emma, Emma wake up.”

She jerks and he hurriedly pulls back before they crack heads. “What, what, I’m up!” She blinks blearily, “Hook?”

“Err…yes?” he offers. “You were having a nightmare.”

She sits up and he goes to get off the bed but she stops him, “Thanks.”

“Of course, love,” he replies. “Not like I need any beauty sleep, is it?”

“I’ll say,” Emma chuckles. “Look, Hook, I…, hey, is there something else I can call your? I’m pretty sure it’s not your real name and it feels _really_ weird to be calling a guy in my bed that.”

“On your bed, Swan, _in_ your bed would be much more fun for the both of us,” he says, enjoying the halfhearted swat she gives him. “And it’s Jones. Uh, Killian Jones.”

She stares at him blankly and gods does he wish he could just be the person she obviously wishes he was.

“…Curse had a bad sense of humor?” she asks dryly.

“That was my assumption, yes,” Killian says.

Emma chuckles again, shaking her head, “Idiot.”

“Idiot?” he asks.

“You really thought I cared about something dumb? Come here.”

“What?” he asks before her arms wrap around his neck.

“You didn’t need to be scared to tell me your own _name_ , you know,” she murmurs into his ear and it sends such a rush through him and he just wants to seize her and kiss her and-

No, no. Rushing Swan won’t get him anywhere but back on the floor or possibly even kicked out of the room.

Thankfully she kisses him instead and then he doesn’t need to care about rushing her.

While they don’t get particularly far—they are both quite sleepy, after all—Killian does not return to the floor that night. And if he has to guess, he won’t be doing so any time soon.

 

5: “When were you going to tell me about this?” Emma demands.

Killian goes for his flask, hoping a sip will give him time to think of a somewhat decent answer, but she swats it out of his hand before he even gets the cap off. “Oi!”

“You didn’t think telling me that you’ve been on a three hundred year revenge trip against someone actually in this town was _important_?” Emma presses.

“ _Maybe_?” he manages. Sometimes he wishes she wasn’t so attractive when angry, it’s not adding to his already confused thought process.

He knew he should have slit Blackbeard’s throat. Would have stopped the bastard from telling Emma all about “Captain Hook’s Revenge” (as if he’d already gotten it or something too, what a crock) all because Hook now had his ship back.

“Maybe!” Emma hisses.

“I don’t know! It didn’t ever seem like a good time to bring it up!” He’s careful not to lie, that will only make this much worse.

She shoves him but it’s not as rough as it could be. His head barely cracks against the wall at all. He takes some comfort in that and so he adds, “I didn’t want to hurt you or make you worry.”

“Well _that_ worked!” she snaps. “Have…have you been plotting this whole time or something?”

“I’ll admit to doing a bit of it when you were in the Enchanted Forest and no one knew where you were,” he says. “It was a distraction from worrying.”

She groans and sits down on the bed. He’s not fool enough to join her. “This…are you still going to? Try and kill him?”

“I’m not an idiot, lass, I can’t kill him without becoming the next Dark One. Did my research,” he says. “I’d rather make him _hurt_.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” she asks.

He frowns. He…well, he’s not entirely got a plan for it. Threatening the Dark One’s woman would make him no better than the man—though he’s pretty sure it’s the Ian part of him that managed to think of that and isn’t that worrying?—and would easily alienate Emma. “I don’t know.”

“Three hundred years and you don’t know?”

“He’s not the most vulnerable person, love,” Killian replies. “And I’m not going to give him reason to go after me by botching it.”

“He’s Gold, he’ll come up with a reason to go after you anyway,” she replies and…that’s probably true. “I don’t want to…I don’t want you to get yourself killed over this.”

He bets that’s something she didn’t have to worry about before he became Hook again. “I won’t, Swan. I’m very good at surviving.”

He does sit beside her then, moving to pull her close and she lets him.

“I think you’re the only person in this town who’s more of an idiot with their memories back,” she says after a little while.

He chuckles when he kisses her, because frankly she may be right.

 

&1: As soon as Emma mentions that it’s Neal and oh-that’s-his-fiancé, Killian knows what Ian would have done.

Ian would have buried his fist in the man’s face for what he’d done to Emma, probably threatened him too.

But Hook’s got a bit of a reputation problem in this town, “villain” and all, and besides, one thing he can say about him and Ian is that he’s a bit more mature (or forcibly made to get over himself by trusting the crocodile alone in Manhattan with Emma and Henry, whichever…), so he knows that probably won’t help and probably _will_ make Emma annoyed with him.

And that Neal is Baelfire. He doesn’t really want to punch Bae if he doesn’t have to. Ian wouldn’t have known _not_ to punch Bae, either.

While Ian probably might have stewed about it, he just catches Emma’s arm when they’re alone, “What do you need me to do?”

“What?” she asks.

“ _Don’t_ tell me you’re not upset, Swan, tell me what to do to make it better.”

“I just…it was a long trip,” she sighs, leaning against him. “I think just some quiet alone time would be nice.”

“As you wish, love,” he says, leading her back to the Jolly Roger. While it’s not at a stage he’d be comfortable living in just yet (he silently curses Blackbeard for letting it fall into such disrepair during the curse—it’s a fucking magic ship, it does not have _that_ many upkeep issues!), the cabins are perfectly fine to spend a night in.

“To be honest, I’m more worried about that woman than Neal,” she says as he tosses their coats on a table.

“Jealous?” he asks, making it clear he’s joking because he doesn’t want to upset her just as much as he doesn’t want it to be true.

“Of what? That she got a guy who randomly vanishes on his girlfriends and is apparently the spawn of the shadiest guy in Storybrooke?” Emma laughs sarcastically. “I’m sorry, Killian, am I not the one with the sweet, loyal, and _incredibly_ good looking pirate captain here?”

He smirks, “That you are, love, that you are.”

They kiss, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, he can stop worrying about who he’s not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where we start seeing the canon divergence starting. Blackbeard stole Hook's ship during the curse and ends up as Cora's helper in his stead. Since Blackbeard has no interest in Gold beyond Cora's, we don't get the Lacey subplot (he went after Belle because I feel Cora doesn't like her, given Cora's own issues with Rumple).  
> The town line didn't work since it's already been used on Killian once.  
> As for the name thing, I thought it was kind of one of those things that deep down you know is stupid but when you're having a self-doubt moment seems insanely momentous. Thankfully Emma was around to set her pirate straight once it came out.  
> 


	4. 5 Things Henry Liked about His Mom’s Boyfriend (and 1 that Caused a Problem)

1: Henry did not expect his mom to be dating anyone, but then she’s an adult and she’s not with his dad, so dating someone else makes sense. He’s secretly kind of glad that she hasn’t had another kid, though. That would have been awkward.

He really did not expect the guy she introduces him to, with his easy smile and his careful choice of words, to so obviously be Captain Hook.

He’s smart enough not to say it yet.

“Ian” is a nice guy, helping Henry get settled while his mom plans to take him back to Storybrooke. He asks Henry if he’s hungry, makes sure he’s warm enough to sleep, scolds him for calling his adoptive mom evil (“lad, don’t say that about someone who raised you”) with a serious roll of his eyes, and gives him a goodnight nod before he and Henry’s mom vanish into the bedroom.

It’s more than he’s gotten from his mom, who seems to kind of be in shock.

So, yeah, Henry kind of likes him. It’s _weird_ since Captain Hook should be a bad guy, but then some of the other people he thinks he’s identified in town aren’t acting like the stories say they should either.

Henry hopes he’s not a jerk when the break the curse. His mom seems happy with the guy.

 

2: While Ian clearly doesn’t believe Henry about the curse—telling him he thinks he’s Captain Hook was a mistake, Henry can totally see that now—he’s at least humoring him.

Which, okay, it’s annoying because it makes Henry feel like a kid, but it’s nice the guy’s at least putting in the effort to pretend. And he doesn’t get too mad when Henry suddenly remembers that yeah, Ian used to live here.

His mom’s boyfriend—and yeah he knows what the rings mean but it feels weird to put it like that so he’s totally going with boyfriend—tends to react to people from Storybrooke knowing him with a kind of cautious optimism. Like, really cautious, either Captain Hook’s quieter than the stories say or Henry can chalk it up to the curse being a bit of a personality-alterer.

He does still scold Henry for calling his adoptive mom evil though, even if he’s just pretty much said the same thing himself (“she didn’t raise me, Henry, it’s totally different”).

Sometimes though, Henry thinks Ian might actually believe him. And it’s nice to be believed, it’s so nice since for crying out loud he’s having to see a shrink over this stuff…

He just wishes Ian didn’t look so sad whenever he believed him.

 

3: Henry meets Captain Hook at breakfast. And yeah, wow, totally different guy than Ian but…kind of the same? Whatever, Henry has pancakes to focus on. He’s sure his mom can handle her own relationship. She’s awesome like that.

Then there’s some ruckus about people going after his adoptive mom and his mom’s on her feet and calling over her shoulder for Hook to watch him while she runs out the door.

“Well, that doesn’t sound good,” Hook murmurs before taking another sip of coffee.

“Not good, they’re going to hurt her!” Henry says. He goes to stand up but something—shit, hook, _hook_!—catches his arm and yanks him back into his seat.

“Says the boy who’s spent a fairly decent amount of time calling her evil,” Hook points out and, okay, yeah, he’s got a point.

“We have to do _something_!” Henry says.

“We are. You’re staying put and I’m making sure you stay put,” Hook says. “Your mother’s orders, lad.”

“Since when do _pirates_ care about orders?” Henry asked.

Hook smirks, “Every pirate on my ship cared quite a lot about following my orders, boy.”

Oh, right. _Captain_ Hook. “You know what I mean.”

“Aye, but I’ve no wish to get mixed up in whatever’s going on out there and I’ve also no wish to displease Emma Swan, so you’ll be staying put.”

He’s got this weird intensity that Ian didn’t. Henry wonders if it’s a villain thing because it reminds him of his adoptive mom. “Fine.”

“There’s a good lad,” Hook says, smiling. He seems a bit relieved.

And okay, no one who smiles like _that_ can be pure evil, right? And he’s listening to Henry’s mom, which is nice of him…

Okay, Henry still likes him. Even if he’s Captain Hook.

 

4: Henry doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s kind of been freaking out since his mom’s been gone. His other mom promised him she’ll find a portal, since they found out his mom and grandmother are in the Enchanted Forest and fine, but…

It’s just worrying. Plus his grandfather was almost ousted as sheriff, and everyone in town’s on edge and…

And he just stole a boat with Captain Hook. David’s going to kill him. And his moms. And Mary-Margaret…

“We can turn around, you know.” The pirate sounds rather bemused.

“We stole a boat,” Henry says.

“Ship. And we’re just borrowing it. It’s only proper stealing if we never give it back,” Hook shrugs.

“That is not how that works and you know it.”

“It it?” Hook asks with an innocent look on his face. “Forgive a three-hundred-year-old pirate, lad, perhaps customs have changed…”

“You have like four years of modern memories,” Henry points out.

Hook waves him off, “The way I see it, we both need a break, and frankly you need to stop pestering me about what being a pirate’s like when you’re bored. You have now completed step one, acquiring a ship.”

“…This is your way of distracting me?” Henry asked.

“And me,” Hook admits. “You’re not the only one who’s worried.”

Henry’s chest tightens and he feels really guilty. He’d kind of forgotten that other people are worried about his mom too, including the pirate who’s obviously head of heels for her. He chews his lip for a moment before forcing a smile, “All right, Captain, what’s first?”

Hook grins back, “First is you getting your directions down. If you’re ever in the middle of the ocean and can’t find your way, I’ve clearly failed as a babysitter.”

“Or maybe I’m just navigationally challenged?” Henry offered.

“Henry, you accurately gave directions to a town not on any map,” Hook says. “So that cannot be the problem. Now, first thing you need to do is figure out where the sun is and what time of day it is, since that’ll get your basic east-west confirmed for you-”

Hook’s officially the coolest babysitter ever.

 

5: Henry might have pretended to gag when his mom had pretty much jumped into Hook’s arms a week ago, but he’d gotten why they were so glad to be back together. Still, sometimes they get a bit mushy for his tastes.

Like right now.

Henry’s gets to go with his mom to go find Gold’s son but Hook’s staying behind to help David guard Blackbeard in jail. And to not be tempted to beat Gold’s face in in the Land Without Magic.

Yeah, Hook’s got issues. But right now Henry’s more concerned with rolling his eyes as much as possible so those two will stop acting all cute. They can do that back in their room! Or on Hook’s ship now that it’s back!

“Are you ill, lad?” Hook asks when Henry’s mom goes to the restroom.

“Can you two _not_ do that in public?” Henry asks.

“Do what?” Hook asks and he genuinely seems to not know.

“Act all…cute! I’m right here!”

Hook seems genuinely puzzled. “…Cute?”

“The staring!” Henry said.

“Staring?”

Great, at least one of them doesn’t even know they’re doing it. “You and my mom keep making eyes at each other and I’d kind of like you to hold off until we’re done eating.”

“Ah, sorry, didn’t realize,” Hook says. “In my defense, your mother is truly gorgeous.”

Henry fakes gagging and Hook just laughs at him.

“Ease up, lad, you won’t have to deal with me ‘making eyes at her for a while. Just…be careful with the Dark One. I know Belle used the dagger to make sure he doesn’t hurt you on this trip but I’d be wary of him finding a loophole,” Hook sighs, reaching over to briefly clap Henry on the shoulder.

“I will be,” Henry said. “Promise.”

“I’ll still worry,” Hook says.

“I know. Thanks…it’s nice, knowing that,” Henry says. And it is. Kind of like having a dad.

“And what are you boys talking about?” his mom asks when she gets back.

“He’s calling you pretty and I’m promising to be careful on the trip,” Henry says.

“Well, that’s sweet. Speaking of which, you’d better not have ordered desert without me.” His mom kisses his forehand and then Hook’s cheek.

Bleh.

 

&1: Henry really doesn’t know what to think right now.

His mom lied about his dad being alive. About who his dad even was.

So, yeah, he’s mad about that.

But…he’s always wished his family would be together. And that lie kind of made it okay that they weren’t ,only his dad _is_ alive…but…

They still can’t really be a family. Not that way anyway, because Mom’s in love with Captain Hook.

He’s a little worried about the traitorous thought about how maybe his mom and Hook aren’t True Love and she really has that with his dad instead, because his mom does _not_ seem happy to think about his dad at all and he doesn’t want to force her into anything. It _really_ doesn’t help that his newly-discovered grandfather seems to be in that camp.

When the main guy who agrees with you is the Dark One, even if he’s on your side and is your grandfather, you’ve got to think about what you’re thinking. It’s required.

But…he doesn’t know how to look at Hook anymore. Is it wrong to still see him as a kind of dad? Because Henry _loves_ hanging out with him and learning about pirates and how Peter Pan was apparently the real bad guy who Mom thinks must have threatened whoever wrote the story down in this world.

But…is it kind of betraying his real dad?

Oh _no_ , is it going to be like it gets between his moms if his dad comes back with them?

“Henry, are you getting airsick?” his mom asks.

“Huh, no,” Henry denies quickly. “Just tired.”

“It has been a long day,” his grandfather agrees. The man hasn’t let go of the death grip on his cane since takeoff.

“Yeah,” Henry says. “Long day.”

And there would be more of them, he just knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this universe they had a way of finding out before they left. Because honestly I think Gold could easily cast a spell showing exactly where his son is with visuals, like scrying or something.


End file.
